What I've learned about children's parties

Birthdays. . . as a child, you look forward to them and the parties that go with them them ALL. YEAR. LONG. The theme of the cake, the decorations, the invitations are all momentous decisions and "You're not coming to my party!" becomes the ultimate insult. And I'm not even talking 'My Super Sweet Sixteen' type celebrations (does anyone remember that show on MTV? It was wild!). No. I mean, Arthur will excitedly deliberate about which off the shelf pack of napkins we are picking up from the supermarket and agonise over a 'mummy's wonkily iced cake' request for weeks. Dinosaurs or dinosaurs? T-rex or velociraptor figures on top? Big decisions. Huge! That's the great thing about kids, especially in the early years - they are actually often thrilled with the simplest of things! With that in mind, what have I learned about children's parties over the years?

Five years into parenting, we've attended a LOT of kids' parties. Seriously. I think our record is three in a weekend - eek! But the children love them, so we give up our Saturday afternoons and stand around with the other mums and dads, watching as our offspring sugar themselves into oblivion and hype themselves up on the high of celebrating their friends' milestones. After all, you only turn five once.

In my experience, parties with little ones tend to fall into three main categories - the at home bash, the village hall party and the 'chuck them in the soft play' extravaganza. They all have their merits! I am a big fan of the soft play - the kids absolutely love it and it gives the adults a chance to chat and enjoy a cuppa as their little darlings throw themselves into ball pits and down 'death slides'. However, the drawback is definitely the expense. Then there is the village hall option. Much cheaper (depending on whether you hire a bouncy castle/similar - the trappings can start to add up!) with the additional benefit of avoiding cake being mashed into your carpets. This year though, we decided after much deliberation to go for an 'at home' party. Having moved last year, we finally have a bit more space and with covid less of a concern for the first time in a few years, we decided to go for it.

I liked the idea of having a party this year for Arthur, as it’s his first year at school. A gathering of little ones and their mums and dads at this time is nice, because everyone is still getting to know each other. We are all going to be moving up the school together for the next six years or so, so breaking the ice and getting to know is never a bad thing. If you’re going to do one big party, I think the fifth birthday in Reception year isn’t a bad time to do it!

Now, nobody is family planning around their children’s birthday parties, but I will say that if you happen to have two babies only a few weeks or less apart, you have the possibility of the ‘joint party’. Combining the celebrations into one bash is a bit sneaky, but we found it much more manageable this year, especially while Jude still has a relatively small group of ‘baby pals’. The downside of having two winter babies like us though, is that parties do have to be a largely indoor affair. As an August baby myself, I remember my childhood birthdays consisting of party food and balloons in the garden or even the park, but outdoor January and February birthday parties don’t have quite the same appeal, so the kitchen and playroom are our best bet.

So onto the good stuff. It might surprise you, but my number one tip, if you’re planning a kids’ party is to cater for the parents. Selfish? I don’t think so. Of course, the parties are predominantly for the children. I know that, and yes, we want to provide lots of yummy treats for them. However, the kids will be mostly excited to charge about with their pals. For the mums and dads dutifully ferrying their littles to event after event, a village hall full of over excited five year olds is a far more cheerful prospect with a decent coffee (or even a glass of Prosecco) in hand. If you can, beg, borrow or even buy an urn (ours wasn’t expensive, and we’ve used it as a ‘tap’ in our play kitchen with cold water) and set up a little tea and coffee station. We popped our Nespresso machine out with plenty of pods and an urn of hot water with tea bags for tea. Village halls often have urns available, but you can do the same at home. Making it self service means that you don’t need to constantly put the kettle on, leaving more time to chat - hurrah!

Second, if you are planning to invest a bit of money into one thing, I am a huge fan of a good children’s entertainer. We have a fantastic lady near us, known as ‘Strawberry Jam’, who we hired for the boys’ party and the children just adore her combination of magic, silliness and balloons. A bouncy castle is definitely good fun, but you just can’t beat an extra pair of hands in my book, and hearing the children cackling away at the jokes was a definite win for us. Always go on word of mouth locally - you want someone super enthusiastic and engaging!

My next bit of advice is that timing is everything. Putting lots of effort into an after school party, only for the littles to be too grumpy to enjoy themselves is going to be disheartening! Although it seemed a bit odd, we decided to have the boys’ party from 10am-12pm and went with a brunch theme for the food. Pastries, fruit and mini pancakes with syrup were super easy to set out, the children were fresh and ready to play and the timing meant that families were free to go about their Saturdays again relatively early! My final timing tip is to keep it short. Much like the rule about nothing good happening after 2am, a children’s party which runs longer than a couple of hours will usually result in tears, tantrums and overwhelm for all involved. Parents are used to an end time on invites - whack it on there and stick to it. The great thing about the humble party bag is that it is the universal signal that the party is over - hand them out once you’ve cut the cake and end on a high! As for what to put in them? I’m a big fan of minimising too much tat and going for consumables which can be used up. Tiny kinder bars, a mini tub of play dough, a balloon, a pencil with a dinosaur rubber topper and a small dinosaur figurine were in ours.

And that’s it - my roundup of all things party! Phew! It’s a relief to be through them for another year, but equally, I adore the joy on their little faces when they realise that ALL of their mates are there singing ‘happy birthday’ (even the ones they dramatically ‘uninvited’ after THAT playground fight), they’ve got icing all over their chops and it is everything they ever dreamed. Oh to be five again!